The first week is hard. We decide to go after work, changing at my office and going straight to the facility. The gym is overwhelming when you're the biggest girl in the place, and I'm not ready to deal with changing rooms and showering there. I'm very self-conscience looking at myself in the mirror that runs the length of the gym. I look at myself and see a fat, ugly person who is out of place in her brand new exercise clothes. I despair because I'm never going to look like that svelte Young Trophy Wife that can go an hour on the Treadmill or the Thigh Killing Machine. Did I just imagine the look of disgust on that guy that's ripped and spends too much time working on his triceps? Maybe, but I still feel out of place. I'm reminded of every reason I hated gym class in school.
I'm thankful that there's a wide variety of people working out. I may be the biggest gal in the place, but I'm not the only one that needs help. I see normal people, and that makes me feel better. I'm not the only one that needs help.
The first day we wandered around lost. I'm sure we have the New Gym Member shine on us. I don't talk to anyone and no one talks to me. Husband and I walk a mile on the track, and I curse that I forgot my music player. I spend five minutes on the Thigh Killing Machine, and I know it's going to come back and haunt me because my thighs feel like jelly. I'm done.
Day two arrives and my thighs hurt. Oddly, I want to go to the gym and walk it off. We get there and walk the track. My thighs hurt and I don't quite make it a mile before I decide to do something else. I spend a few minutes on a couple weight machines working on my arms and upper body. I'm careful not to overdo it, but I still feel it the next day.
Saturday at the Y means lots of people. I do another mile on the track, and I love my little music player. Husband, who has longer legs than I do, does a little more than a mile. We decide that we're getting him his own music player for his birthday this month. Then we go down to the gym. I spend a whole song on the cross-country machine before I need a break. Then I do a little bit on the arm machines. After this, Husband and I decide that we're going to do a few more laps and call it a day.
Week one is over. I feel good about it. Nothing *hurts*, but I'm pleasantly sore. The scale in the locker room is mocking me, because I'm scared to see just how bad off I am. Husband tells me to just get it over with. I'll see how I feel about it next week.
Miles Walked: 3
Time on exercise machines: 20
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Alternately, ignore that stupid scale, and judge based on how much your ability increases. What's important on your trip is the ability to walk distances and hills, right? Also, you may find your body shifting around without the actual weight number going down very much; that's what happens to me, anyway.
ReplyDeleteFinaly comment: I still think you should set up an audio or vidoe recorder one night while you sleep. If you still make those gasping noises at night that you did when we shared a hotel room at ICON that one year, I think you should get looked at for sleep apnea. It's a source of both weight gain & fatigue. Sorry if I harp on it, but you SCARED me that night! *hugs*
I vote mostly with Joanna. Judge progress by the changes you see in yourself. By how your clothes start to fit better (or better yet, not at all) and by how you can amazingly do more every week. But I do advise checking that scale just once to see what your starting point is. And then keep away from it for at least a month of constant work. It's hard, and very easy to lapse. VERY easy to lapse. And go back to where you were, or worse. It just means starting back fresh. Which is where I am now. Starting over. I've been here before and know I can do it. Now I just have 30 lbs to get back to where I was 3 years ago. Grrr. But I can do it. And you can to.
ReplyDeleteAlso:
http://home.insightbb.com/~eowynchallenge/Walk/walk.html
It might just tickle your fancy. I don't actually check where I am very often anymore, but I've been AMAZED at how far I've gotten.
{{{hugs}}}
You can do it!